Blurry
by Lynn-Capric
Summary: Bakura leaves Ryou, it goes back and forth showing how they feel, songfic, yaoi(obviously) please R


A/N: I was feeling sad, and this was supposed to be a tear jerker, well the middles is but its good, I hope, please R&R  
  
Warning: minor cussing, and its Shounen-ai (nicer romantic yaoi)  
  
Disclamer: I dont own any of this *wishes she owned bakura and marik and ryou* it belongs to who ever created yugioh, and the song is by puddle of mudd, if you didnt know it  
  
Blurry  
  
Everything's so blurry, and everyone's so fake, and everybody's empty, and everything is so messed up, pre-occupied. Without you I cannot live at all, my whole world surrounds you. I stumble then I crawl.  
  
I don't think any one knows I'm here, No phone calls, no IM's. Do I exist, he won't even come back to me. I don't know what I did, it doesn't make sense. I'm just plain old Ryou. Maybe that's the problem. God I love him, how could he just walk away, even the ring didn't hold him to me. I guess Marik was more of what he wanted, and to think, he said they were just partners. This worlds so screwed up. Nothing belongs to me any more, let them all take it away, they wont know it was mine, how could they, they don't even know me. He was the only one who did but now he doesn't even exist to me. Every thing is empty, there's nothing in me. I can't even see the beauty of a flower. I remember how his kiss felt like rose petals, but I can't think of that now. I feel the tears streaming down my cheeks, or is it the blood, doesn't matter ether way. My eyes are so blurred I cant even see the bottle of vodka any more.  
  
You could be my someone, you could be my scene, you know that I'll protect you from all of the obscene. I wonder what you're doing, imagine where you are, there's oceans in between us but that's not very far.  
  
How the fuck could I do this. I knew Marik was going to use me, I just didn't want to believe it. It was something new, I had to take the risk, I've lived long enough to know taking he chance is better than letting it pass you by. I was so ignorant to follow him all the way to Egypt, I didn't even bother to go home and pack my things, or let alone tell Ryou bye. I miss him, I've never loved any one, I never learned how to. I hope he doesn't do any thing stupid, but his little friends should be with him, I know they all ways were around to bug the shit out of me. He was my love, I know he loved me, I just couldn't see it. Would he ever take me back? We could be so much more. I'm such a dumb ass, I didn't know what I had with him…not unlit I don't have him any more. We're so far apart, I can't call, there's no phones here, nothing that could connect me with the outside world, except Marik. I'll write to him. Ryou I'm coming home, will you have me back?  
  
Can you take it all away, can you take it all away? Well ya shoved it in my face, this pain you gave to me, Can you take it all away, can you take it all away? Well ya shoved it my face.  
  
I got a letter in the mail today, from the one I most desire, I'm not even going to read it. I already know what it say. He forgot to get his clothes can I mail them to him while he's sleeping with Marik. He just has to make it worse, I would have been better of not even going outside today. Should I open it, its just going to hurt me I know. Damn here comes the tears again. Weeks have passed I should be over it, I should have gone back to school, I should have done so many things. I'm so dizzy, or am I just rocking myself to sleep again. No I'm not going to read it, I know him, I know how hurtful he can be. I'm such a perfect example of that hurt. I found out yesterday when I went to get the small amount of food it takes for me to live that Yugi and the gang all thought that Bakura and I were on vacation. I told them I hadn't but they still don't call. This hurts so much, I wish he would just come back. I take the letter to the sink and rinse it in the sink watch the words on the envelope disappear. He's some were in Egypt, I should have guessed it, but I don't care, or at least try not to.  
  
Everyone is changing, there's no one left that's real. to make up your own ending and let me know just how you feel, cause I am lost without you, I cannot live at all, my whole world surrounds you. I stumble then I crawl.  
  
I know he got the letter, if he was going to write back he would have by now. Almost two months have passed in this shitty wasteland with Malik. He doesn't even want to touch me any more, I'm just a hit man, so to say, now. I miss him, I've contemplated just going back but I'm afraid of what I'll to if he rejects me. I would never hurt him, so long as he loves me. I don't know how I can even think of this. Every thing is dead now, inside and out. I feel like I'm decaying whilst still alive. If some one speaks to me I don't hear it. Half the time I don't even notice is Marik uses his sennen rod on me. If Ryou was around I wouldn't be so weak, but he's not so what can I do. I wonder if I could even get away now. I look down at myself. They have me dressed like on of those bloody rare hunters. I guess that's all I am now, a no name mind slave that no one loves, that the beautiful benevolent Ryou couldn't even forgive. Damn it, I've never cried before, its so useless, a waste of time. Then why am I doing it? Ryou I love you.  
  
You could be my someone, you could be my scene, you know that I will save you from all of the unclean. I wonder what you're doing, I wonder where you are. There's oceans in between us but that's not very far.  
  
Last night I know I heard him, I heard him yell out my name I know he loves me. The ring still connects us, it had to have been real, it was his voice. So husky and low but the pain, it was just a dream…a reflection of how I feel, he would have never let me hear him like that. I can still dream, but I'm just starting to get over him, if that's even possible. Tea came over the other day and brought me a puppy. She named it peapie for some odd reason, I always knew she wasn't right in the head, but she gave one of those boring loving friendship type sermons and it made sense. Bakura wasn't right for me, we had nothing in common, and he didn't deserve me, she says I'm too good for him. Yugi came over too, with yami which didn't help much. They wanted to borrow some vanilla for a cake or something, they didn't even notice Bakura was gone until yami asked where my good for nothing beau was. I broke down crying and pushed them out the door, I think that's why Tea came over…But what I heard last night, what are they doing to him, I wish I could see him, stop them from what ever is going on and just take him back, but he doesn't want me. He would have come back but I am still going to try, I'm not as weak as every one thinks. Luckily I have a good memory, I'm writing a letter to him, to that city he wrote to me, Bakura please love me.  
  
Nobody told me what you thought, nobody told me what to say, everyone showed you where to turn, told you when to runaway, nobody told you where to hide, nobody told you what to say, everyone showed you where to turn, showed you when to runaway.  
  
Marik brought a letter to my dark little cell like room today, he opened the door and smirked, then tossed it at me shutting the door again. I don't have the strength to look at it, what if its from Ryou, a hate letter that never made it to me. But Ryou doesn't hate, unless those fools he calls friends helped him channel whatever anger he has pint up inside. I can't believe he would do that, but he didn't even respond to my letter, if he did the I never got it. Wait that's it, this is his response, but why would Marik have liked it unless it was to put me down. Damn it is from him, sweet kind Ryou how could you have gone thins low, I don't believe its from him, but that writing its in English. Marik doesn't know any English, but he taught it to me. Maybe Marik thinks I cant read it, I will. The paper is so thin I read over it quickly. He does, he loves me. But after all I've done to him, they told him to get away from him, no one told me what he felt. He didn't even tall me, I thought he just had a crush on me. This is it, Marik will not stop me, I wont hide, I wont listen to him any more. This time, Ryou, I'm coming home and staying.  
  
This pain you gave to me, you take it all, you take it all away... This pain you gave to me, you take it all away, this pain you gave to me, Take it all away, this pain you gave to me.  
  
I can feel him, the ring is burning for its master. Bakura is back but he wont come to me. He didn't write back but it has only been a week. Maybe the ring is just burning to get away from the one its master hates. I hope I'm wrong. But I bet I'm completely right. He's so much stronger than me, he wants some one of his strength. At least now I no that I wont have to change blood covered sheets again. The sheets seem so cold with out him here. I wonder how long its been sense I've eaten, did I even think about it yesterday. I don't ever think of things like that when I'm going through one of my fits, as yugi started to call them. Well even if I was hungry the kitchens empty. Wait what was that, damn it some ones here to bug me, I bet joey just wants to play with my xbox or something. Slowly I open the door and burst into tears as my love takes me in his arms. Bakura I love you!  
  
Ryou I love you too. 


End file.
